We have all seen them before, the women that go day to day taking care of their kids, have a clean home, being an active part of the community, have the perfect marriage, the list can go on and on. Basically, we all know the perfect mom that does it all without complaining and still manages to have her make-up and hair done perfectly. Typically, we see them on TV or in the local grocery store or even leading the PTA. They are a fine specimen that we all just look at in awe, aspiring to someday at least look like we have it all together like them. Living up to societies expectations of this perfect mom that can some how do it all and never complain.
Well let me be the first to say F*** that!
Let me give you some back story in case you’re new here… I am a full-time student online, I have 2 babies ( my daughter is 21 months and my son is 10 months), I work 4 days a week overnight for 8+ hours each of those days which leaves me as a stay-at-home mom during the day to care for my little monsters while my boyfriend goes to work (good child care is expensive for babies their age). So you want to know what I do during my free time at home? I’ll give you a hint, it for damn sure is not cleaning! I sit my happy but down on the couch while I go back and forth with playing with my babies to scolding one for hitting the other to glimpse at whatever program I have playing. Now don’t get me wrong, I do clean and cook and all that jazz but sometimes I just say forget that!
I have no shame in admitting that my house is not always clean or my sink isn’t always empty of dishes. Heck, sometimes I give my daughter a quesadilla and veggies for dinner because I just don’t feel like cooking. 9 times out of 10 the laundry sits in the hamper for a good week before it gets put away (usually it is about the time I have to do another load and then the whole cycle starts all over again). There have even been times where I set up a blanket on the living room floor just so I can sleep in hopes that my kids will decide to join in.
Every now and again I will be hard on myself and say that I need to get my shenanigans together but then I just snap back to reality. The best time to do any cleaning with two babies is while they are sleeping. Typically during that time I have a few options to chose from, its either (A) Wash the dishes/clean the living room, or (B) Go catch up on some sleep after working a night shift. I’m sure you can guess which one I lean towards the most. Basically it comes down to I rather have a few dishes in the sink or toys on the floor instead of being momzilla because I am sleep deprived.Now I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, I eventually do take care of the dishes or clean up the house. Typically that happens when I go into a cleaning frenzy or I ran out of clean dishes.
So, I am sure I have people out there that probably think I am like the worst mom alive and you know what? I could care less what you people think. Because if I did do everything I’m “supposed” to do as a mom I would be burnt out and quite honestly, very unhealthy. Maybe I am just young and naive but in all reality, people just don’t give moms the proper credit. I mean lets face it, we as a society expect moms to live up to these unrealistic expectations and then stomp all over them when they fall short of perfect.And frankly, it doesn’t really matter how good you think you’re doing, there will always be at least one person saying how you could be doing better.
So I am here to shout out to all those other “bad” moms out there. Because sure we may not have it all together but at the end of the day our kids’ needs have been met and that is all that matters.