I have a theory. And bare in mind this is merely just a theory that has not been explored or contain any scientific fact.
It came about when my boyfriend and I were discussing the topic of cheating and more specifically, what brings a person to cheat? So I had a thought. It partially stems from something I was told in a Psychology class a couple of years back that human beings are not monogamous creatures. In fact there are only about 12 species in the world that are. So if people weren’t made to be monogamous then what causes some to live full happy lives together without the need for another person’s affection?
What if it has something to do with finding a soul mate? I’m kind of a hopeless romantic but I do truly believe that every person has somebody out there that they are meant to be with. My idea is that if you find that person you feel complete and do not feel an urge to cheat or find affections elsewhere. Sometimes this can happen to both people involved and sometimes it can just be one sided.
With that being said, maybe feel a need to explore other options because they have this void in themselves that they are trying to fill. Even in the case of open relationships, sure the couple loves each other but one or both of them is still in search of that missing piece whether they’re conscious of it or not.
I firmly believe that people have the ability to be monogamous, however I also believe that type of relationship will either take a lot of work or just finding the right person. And let me just throw out there, all relationship require some work the degree varies from couple to couple but they all require constant work to maintain it so that both people feel fulfilled. But that is a conversation for another post…
Other theories for cheating can go back to the beginnings of mankind when we were hunters and gatherers. When men just wanted to spread their seed as much as possible to ensure the continuation of their bloodline. And women although in love with one man, may seek another for his traits because after all it was survival of the fittest. Another reason for men to cheat that I read somewhere is that they feel they are vulnerable and out of control. So in order to gain control again, they cheat. Sure they still love their significant other but they need to prove that they have control over something. Crazy, yeah but it does kind of make some sense to given how prideful men can be.
In any case, communication is key! If you do feel some urge to explore outside relationships then you should tell your partner. If you love them then you should explain why you’re feeling those feelings. If you don’t love them then you should tell them you’re losing feelings and maybe just end things. I think many people chose to stay in a relationship sometimes even if both people are cheating because they are afraid to be alone. Sure there are those spontaneous hook ups, but who else will put up with all of your quirks on a daily basis? Being in a relationship that is familiar is safe, even if you’re not entirely happy. But if you’re not happy it is better to just not waste eachother’s time, unless of course you’re at a mutual understanding then by all means, Go FOR IT!
As for me, I’m old fashioned. I rather not share my man with anyone else and I prefer to only have him as they one I’m with. I believe deep down in my heart that he is the one I want to be with. And in the 3 years we have been together I still do not care to look at other men in any kind of sexual way. I feel fulfilled with the man I have and even in the hard times I know I wouldn’t want any other person. Maybe those feelings will change over time, who knows. But for now I can honestly say that I was lucky enough to find the man I believe to be my soul mate.